Day 53: The Weiner Could Get Savage, or Ivanka’s not the Only One with Daddy Issues

Welcome to our first guest poster:

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Donald Trump’s propensity for queering the truth is nothing new.  He leapt into the political fray on The View of all places as a “birther.” His call for Obama to release his birth certificate was met with glee by bigots and non-bigots alike (it is estimated that 0.000078% of all birthers are non-bigots). A week after his appearance on The View Trump explained to Laura Ingraham “that where it says religion (on the birth certificate) it might have said Muslim.” Heady times, Laura Ingraham giving you the thumbs up.  It may have been back in those halcyon days (post- Ivanka’s Stuff Magazine photo shoot and her pre-Flowers in the Attic phase) that Trump thought to himself “p’haps I kin be pesident.” Trouble was, aside from attacking Obama for his non-occidental complexion, Trump really hadn’t much of a political platform.

What to do? What to do? The GOP was likely to throw up a baker’s dozen of triflings. Such an opportunity! All he needed to do was come up with a conservative ideology. Yet that seemed a lot of effort; hmm,  why not borrow one? Mr. Trump searched low and low. And there on the AM dial he found Michael Alan Weiner, a.k.a. Michael Savage. While Mr. Savage may be best known for eating his lunch on air while hosting his three-hour radio show, he also has his own political philosophy. Borders, language, and culture. Well maybe less a philosophy and more of a bumper sticker but still it was more than Trump had at that time. Appropriating this complex doctrine keeping our borders, language, and culture safe proved to relatively easy. A few guest appearances on Savage Nation and it was his. Just had to break it down to bite size pieces for his base. “Gonna build a wall, gonna keep them Muslims out.”  That should (and did) do.

Campaign promises aside, Trump understands that if he fails to follow through with these two pillars of our Great Again America, the Weiner could get Savage. Michael Savage preaches to much of the Trump base for 15 hours a week. If Mr. Savage feels that Trump is weakening his stance on immigration he may take him behind the woodshed on air. With this in mind, after Trump signed his second executive order banning Muslims, it was easy to imagine him looking west towards Michael Savage and whispering “I did good daddy, didn’t I?”

 

 

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